How can I be in a crowd of people at a sporting event with people I love and yet, feel alone in thoughts and feelings? One who is always needing to talk and keep a conversation going, that is me. One who is uncomfortable with silence when I am with others. Why I wonder? I would never think I was ever lonely.
I have a big family, lots of friends and feel very loved. I believe that I am afraid of being lonely, that if I were with myself only, I would have to really need to figure out who I am. My life has been one where helping others has been my focus. Not that helping others is bad, but at some level it has kept me from helping myself, listening to my story. This sounds crazy but I have needed to look good to feel good. Keeping myself busy and my family busy has kept me from being lonely. But I am sensing a need to have a loneliness that only God can fill. And knowing He alone can meet me there and accept me for who I am and who God has made me to be brings me peace and gives me courage. For I am safe with my Creator, I am His and He calls me beloved and beautiful.
Five minute Friday prompt – Lonely